Funny posts from November 9, 2016 (one day after the US elections).
Me: So Alvin, Mr. Trump will be taking office in January. What did you guys talk about that in school today?
Alvin: The school Wi-Fi was down most of the day and my data plan stream is so slow that I hardly texted anyone to hear how the election went…. So Mr. Daly, after this election when will we know who will be president? Because the debates are… like forever!
That kid will soon be graduating from high school with a decent GPA.
Another one here:
Darla was teaching literature to first year students at the local university. One morning, as I prepared for class I noticed two students sitting in the front row. They both appeared to be around 18 years old. They were early. They were trying to get to know me and included me in their conversation. They told me they were roommates and both had lived with their parents their entire lives until that week.
They asked me about the new recreation center and as I organized my lesson plan and books I told them all about the center and everything it had to offer, including an olympic-size swimming pool.
The woman sitting by the door told me she loved to swim. She said she had a pool at home and went swimming every afternoon after class to help her relax. She then turned to her new roommate and asked her roommate if she wanted to go swimming when their classes ended. She pointed out that their schedules were nearly identical and it would be a good way to end the day.
The other young woman asked if boys were allowed in the pool. I was a bit distracted, but I told her yes, both men and women used the pool.
Then she said, “My parents won’t allow me told me to swim in public pools where boys swim because I can get pregnant.”
I paused with a book in my hand. I wasn’t sure if I misunderstood, or if she was joking. The other young woman started laughing, then stopped. Clearly, her roommate was serious.
“It’s true,” the woman insisted. “The sperm swims out of their swim suit and through the water. I have never been swimming in a pool with a boy or where boys swim. There were girls at my high school who were pregnant and sometimes they said they didn’t know who the father of their baby was and that’s probably because they were swimming. I’ve never been pregnant because I refused to take swimming classes so I wouldn’t use the same pool as the boys.”
I tried to keep all expression from my face as I continued to prepare for class. I glanced up a few more times to see if they were laughing at me. Surely she had to be joking! But it became shockingly obvious that she was serious.
Other students were coming in the room. The first young woman finally took a deep breath and told her roommate in a soft voice: “I think college will be good for you. You are going to learn a lot here.”
Third story - This would shock u
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I walk into the fifth grade class room. It’s noisy, as usual. Students are running around the classroom, but the bell hasn’t rung yet, so there isn’t much I can do about it.
Nica (running over to me, speaking in Georgian): Teacher! Teacher! I have a question for you, Teacher. It’s really important.
Me: Ok, Nica, but only if you ask me in English.
Nica: Um…ok… (Looks around) um…um…Ilia! (Runs over to Ilia to ask for help. Ilia whispers something in Nica’s ear. She comes back with a big smile painted across her face.)
Me: Ok, Nica. What is it? What’s so important? (I take a sip of coffee, waiting patiently for her to answer.)
Nica: Teacher? Do you have a big dick?
Me (squirting coffee out my nose): What!?!
Nica: Yes, Teacher. Do you have a big dick? (Smiles and waits expectantly for me to answer.) Is everything fine, Teacher.
Me: Ilia! Why does Ms. Kanashvili wan’t to know about the size of my male anatomy?
Ilia bursts out laughing
Giorgi: Teacher. Nica wanted to know if you had a brother.
The whole class then erupts in laughter.
Nica: Yes. Teacher. Do you have a big brother?
Everyone laughs again.
Nica looks around, confused, and says, “What is so funny teacher. I don’t understand